The Gunther Concept

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Tuesday, April 29, 2003

 
Evolution Report… According to the Truth Laid Bear, Gunther Concept has involved to the level of lowly insect! I should have more to say on this later on when I take a break from editing a manuscript that's due to be sent out in two days.

posted by gunther at 2:40 PM Link

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

 
My Mind Has Been Officially Blown In a desperate attempt to cash in on pro-war hysteria and revive a sagging career, Clint Black has released the following song (lyrics available from his website). Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, 'Iraq and Roll'. Words and Music by Clint Black and Hayden Nicholas YOU CAN WAVE YOUR SIGNS IN PROTEST AGAINST AMERICA TAKING STANDS THE STANDS AMERICA'S TAKEN ARE THE REASON THAT YOU CAN So, since previous generations have sacrificed themselves and fought real enemies to our freedoms, please just shut up and stop using them to protest while we take on this fake enemy. IF EVERYONE WOULD GO FOR PEACE THERE'D BE NO NEED FOR WAR So it's a damn good thing that Saddam is threatening us! Whoo Woo!! BUT WE CAN'T IGNORE THE DEVIL HE'LL KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE Coming back for more what? I don't understand. Did you use 'more' just because it rhymed with 'war'? Not very creative. Couldn't you have used something that was more appropriate in your song, such as, I don't know, 'whore'? SOME SEE THIS IN BLACK AND WHITE OTHERS ONLY GRAY Actually, I see it as a kind of turquoise, with yellowish stripes running along the sides like lightening bolts, but it could just be the drugs. WE'RE NOT BEGGING FOR A FIGHT NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY Riiight. WE HAVE THE RESOLUTION Not from the UN, you don’t. THAT SHOULD PUT'EM ALL TO SHAME BUT IT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF DEADLINE WHEN I'M CALLED IN THE GAME Clint, I hate to break it to you, but the only 'game' you're likely to be called in for at this point in your career is filling the top left box on Hollywood Squares when Lance Bass is unavailable. CHORUS I RAQ, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL Note the clever use of the redneck 'I' pronunciation of Iraq, so that it would blend seamlessly with the rest of the sentence. Absolutely brilliant! Leonard Cohen would be proud. I'M BACK AND I'M A HIGH TECH GI JOE Doesn't really rhyme with 'roll', but I'll let it pass. 'I'm a high tech Billy Joel' would have been a better rhyme but I guess it doesn't quite fit the overall theme. I PRAY FOR PEACE, PREPARE FOR WAR AND I NEVER WILL FORGET THERE'S NO PRICE TOO HIGH FOR FREEDOM SO BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU TREAD THIS TERROR ISN'T MAN TO MAN THEY CAN BE NO MORE THAN COWARDS Kind of like if they sent missiles at us from hundreds of miles away, or something. IF THEY WON'T SHOW US THEIR WEAPONS WE MIGHT HAVE TO SHOW THEM OURS You show me yours, Clint, and I'll show you mine. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you don’t have one. IT MIGHT BE A SMART BOMB THEY FIND STUPID PEOPLE TOO Insert your own joke here. AND IF YOU STAND WITH THE LIKES OF SADDAM ONE JUST MIGHT FIND YOU One of them might also find you if you happen to live in Iran, or Turkey, or are just sitting at home with your family. Actually, from what we know so far, standing with Saddam just might be the safest place to be. CHORUS II I ROCK, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL I'M BACK AND I'M A HIGH TECH GI JOE I'VE GOT INFRARED, I'VE GOT GPS AND I'VE GOT THAT GOOD OLD FASHIONED LEAD Not to mention depleted uranium. THERE'S NO PRICE TOO HIGH FOR FREEDOM SO BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU TREAD Lead, tread, dead. BRIDGE NOW YOU CAN COME ALONG OR YOU CAN STAY BEHIND OR YOU CAN GET OUT OF THE WAY Wow, there are a surprising number of options available! Thanks, Clint. BUT OUR TROOPS TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE FOR THE GOOD OLD U.S.A. I ROCK, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL IN THE USA I ROCK, I RACK'EM UP AND I ROLL I'M TALKIN' ABOUT THE USA Oh you ARE talking about the USA. For a while there I thought the song was about Luxembourg. Other songs by Clint Black and Hayden Nicholas (absolutely true): Burn One Down - 1991 Half the Man - 1993 Put Yourself in My Shoes - 1989 Killin’ Time - No Time to Kill - Easy for Me to Say - Pretty amazing, I think. Be sure to check out the t-shirt. Kudos to No More Mr. Nice Blog for bringing it to my attention.

posted by gunther at 4:19 PM Link

Monday, April 21, 2003

 
24 or 36 Hours of Hell Tomorrow will start a rather uncomfortable, albeit brief period in Gunther’s life. I’m scheduled to depart from Houston to Chicago for a work related conference, departing on Wednesday morning at 6:00 am. This wouldn’t normally be a problem for me but Tuesday night I have a multiplicity of things to do that will probably keep me up late. Main thing on the agenda is a concert by The Cramps, who you might remember as a kind of perverse rockabilly-punk rock band from the 80’s. I thought that they were long gone and disbanded, but apparently they are still around and even have a new album coming out. I’ve been anticipating the show since it was first announced a couple of months ago. To those who are uninitiated in the phenomenon that is The Cramps, I’d recommend renting the film “Urghh! A Music War”. It’s a compilation of concert footage from the early 80’s, and the one song set that the Cramps do is an experience that must be seen to be believed. Children or individuals with heart conditions are forewarned. The second thing going on tomorrow is, unfortunately, three game 7s in the Stanley Cup playoffs. The St Louis – Vancouver game in particular is a problem, since it overlaps totally with the concert. He only way I’ll be able to see it is to tape it and watch when I get home. And, the Toronto – Philadelphia game should be over by the time I need to go to the concert, but with three multiple overtimes in four games there’s no guarantee. Again, this normally wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t need to catch a flight at 6 the next morning. But I may be up late watching tapes, or possibly live, action and get maybe 2 hours sleep.

posted by gunther at 11:25 PM Link

 
?? I don't know what the hell just happened, but it just goes to show that you shouldn't blog when you've been drinking. I think I may be devolving into a multicell organism.

posted by gunther at 11:24 PM Link

 
Evolution! I just learned today from visiting The Truth Laid Bear’s ecosystem of web logs that The Gunther Concept has evolved into a squiggly worm! It’s not much, but it’s a start. Thanks to the Art of Peace for putting me over edge. Anyway, onwards and upwards…

posted by gunther at 11:21 PM Link

 
Evolution! Let's try that again. I just learned today from visiting The Truth Laid Bear’s ecosystem of web logs that The Gunther Concept has evolved into a squiggly worm! It’s not much, but it’s a start. Thanks to Link

 
Evolution!> I just learned today from visiting The Truth Laid Bear’s ecosystem of web logs that The Gunther Concept has evolved into a squiggly worm! It’s not much, but it’s a start. Thanks to Link

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

 
France has Idiots Too From the CBC, the following story about vandalism of a war memorial in France. Unfortunately for the idiots who did it, they didn’t notice that there no Americans buried in the cemetery. LONDON - Vandals sprayed anti-U.S. slogans on a war memorial in a cemetery in northern France, apparently unaware that no Americans are buried there. The Commonwealth War Graves Commission condemned the vandalism. A member of France's parliament spoke out against it, saying the war with Iraq shouldn't be associated with the sacrifices of Allied soldiers during the two world wars. The cemetery contains the graves of more than 1,100 Canadians and thousands of British soldiers, but no U.S. soldiers. The memorial was marked by a swastika and graffiti that read, in French, "Dig up your rubbish, it's fouling our soil," and "Death to Yankees." Another said "Saddam will win and spill your blood I wish I could say something humorous about this, but it’s hard to laugh in the face of such blatantly stupid and irrational behavior.

posted by gunther at 4:27 PM Link

 
Geraldo Vs. Arnett I think that this letter posted by Atrios nails it on the Geraldo versus Arnett issue. But is any of this really surprising? The same crowd that now criticize Arnett for giving “aid and comfort to the enemy” are the ones who were all over Clinton when he initiated military action in the Balkans. Hypocrisy is the standard operating procedure on the right. It’s impossible to take Geraldo seriously as a journalist anyway, no matter what he says or what he conjures up while playing in the sand. I’m old enough to remember Al Capone’s hidden vault, not to mention the time Geraldo got his nose broken by a flying chair on the set of his daytime talk show. But then again, I remember when Bob Woodward was actually a real journalist himself, and wasn’t just playing one on TV.

posted by gunther at 4:10 PM Link

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

 
War News From Overseas Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be in a country where the news media actually cover the war from a disinterested, or at least somewhat objective perspective. Fortunately I have digital cable, and get BBC news (marginally better than anything on American television), and News World International, from Canada. The latter is what I rely on to get most of my information, since in addition to offering news reports, panels and discussions that are far superior to anything you’ll see on the American networks, that network also has regular times every day where they show news programs from around the world. Try to imagine having a panel discussion between an anchor or host, and four guests with very different perspectives. Not one composed of four extreme right wingers, or three right-wingers and Joe Lieberman, but one where the guests actually differ substantially in their views. Imagine, furthermore, that the segment is not 8 minutes long and consisting of shouting, name-calling and recitation of talking points. Instead, it last 30 minutes, 45 or even a full hour, during which you actually get some insight, and occasionally (God forbid!) actually learn something. This is not an April fools joke. Such things really do exist in the U.S. of A., although most people don’t have access to them, and would watch even if they did. Unfortunately, NWI doesn’t have an online news summary, although the the CBC domestic network does. I’ll try to add some of this material here on this site, for those who may want a different perspective on the war, and are tired of reading weblogs.

posted by gunther at 11:23 PM Link